About Me

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Daughter of God, wife, mother, grandmother, friend, daughter, sister, aunt. Always desiring to be better at all these.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The End (for now)

I have decided to put this blog out of its misery--at least for now. I have too many little details nagging at me and I want to narrow things down. I will be working on my personal handwritten journal more often, hopefully. This is not to say I won't ever post here again, just not anytime soon.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


Well, I am 70 today. Is that really true? The numbers don't sound right to me. If I am 70, shouldn't I feel like I have arrived, like I have it all together? Believe me, I do not feel that way. This journey is full of detours and distractions from the things we know to be the important things of life and yet, here I am wondering where it all has gone and what I will have left behind.

For me, birthdays are kinda like New Year's Eve. I like to look back and evaluate, then look forward and think about the future. Of course, I know that the past is gone, but it is a good teacher and there are no guarantees of the future, so I guess I will just work on today and enjoy what it has to offer while trying to make things better in some way. One day at a time, isn't that all we can handle?

Today looks to be a beautiful fall day. Maybe I will get out and enjoy the gorgeous colors and the sunshine for a little while, go visit my mother and spend time with my family this evening. Sounds like a plan!

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I have lost it all!! Hope I can recover it.

A Note

I am not quite sure what happened to the nice design I had here, but it is gone!! All I can do is play with it til I get it fixed.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

That Hurts!!

O.K., I am officially obese, or should I say OBESE! Of course, I knew I was overweight. That has been a problem off and on since I was 14 years old, but obese?I went to a weight loss support group meeting last night and they did the weigh, measure, caliper pinch (in three places), and the BMI thing. The numbers were ugly to say the least. I could have cried. I have done this work before-several times-and don't want to do it again, but there are several things to consider.

First, this body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. The measurements are just a bit bigger than the design called for and certainly not in the condition it should be in.

Second, the extra weight puts me at risk for several unpleasant possibilities such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes, back problems and knee problems. Not things I would like to go through.

Third, I just feel sluggish and unable to do the things I would like to do. My energy level is low. It is a vicious circle of not being able to lose the weight if I don't exercise, but exercise is uncomfortable at this point.

So, I have decisions and commitments to make that no one else can make for me and no one else can do for me. I am on my own in this one and there is no one to blame but myself. Cause and effect; action and consequence.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


It was eight years ago that my Dad left this place of pain and sickness and went to be with the Master Carpenter. Dad was a carpenter-among other things, but that was his passion. He loved working with wood and we have several pieces of his creativity to remember him by. I imagine him with Jesus, making sawdust while humming or whistling the whole time.

Have I written this before? On the day he died, March 24, 2002, I was not with him, but my brother was holding him in his arms and singing to him. I was home alone and when they called to tell me, I looked out the window and saw an eagle soaring in the sky over our house. To me, that was a message from God saying "He is okay. He has risen on eagles' wings above all the suffering. He is released to fly with me."

I still miss him terribly-his kindness and gentleness-and the love he had for God and his family, but I know I will see him again.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Impatient Patient

Patience/Patients. Sound the same, but in my case, they are worlds apart. Here I am, almost eight week post-surgery on my knee and I am more than ready for this to be over. People keep commenting about how amazing it is that the surgery (knee replacement) is so great. I am still waiting for the "amazing" and "great". It is getting better, but I just never thought it would take this long. The therapist says I am doing very well--better than a lot of people at this point.

One of the things that is so unsettling is just how much one has to focus on his/her self in this process. We really do take for granted the ability to just get up and go and do for ourselves. To be dependent is not in my nature and has been hard to accept. It is also difficult to focus on any one thing for very long. I had thought I would read a lot, etc., but my mind feels very scattered and the concentration level is not there right now.

Not sure what this all means except that I will try to be much more conscious of and sensitive to other people who are in a place of pain/recovery in the future. For now, I am grateful for good doctors, new procedures and pain meds!!