Dad

It was eight years ago that my Dad left this place of pain and sickness and went to be with the Master Carpenter. Dad was a carpenter-among other things, but that was his passion. He loved working with wood and we have several pieces of his creativity to remember him by. I imagine him with Jesus, making sawdust while humming or whistling the whole time.

Have I written this before? On the day he died, March 24, 2002, I was not with him, but my brother was holding him in his arms and singing to him. I was home alone and when they called to tell me, I looked out the window and saw an eagle soaring in the sky over our house. To me, that was a message from God saying "He is okay. He has risen on eagles' wings above all the suffering. He is released to fly with me."

I still miss him terribly-his kindness and gentleness-and the love he had for God and his family, but I know I will see him again.

Impatient Patient

Patience/Patients. Sound the same, but in my case, they are worlds apart. Here I am, almost eight week post-surgery on my knee and I am more than ready for this to be over. People keep commenting about how amazing it is that the surgery (knee replacement) is so great. I am still waiting for the "amazing" and "great". It is getting better, but I just never thought it would take this long. The therapist says I am doing very well--better than a lot of people at this point.

One of the things that is so unsettling is just how much one has to focus on his/her self in this process. We really do take for granted the ability to just get up and go and do for ourselves. To be dependent is not in my nature and has been hard to accept. It is also difficult to focus on any one thing for very long. I had thought I would read a lot, etc., but my mind feels very scattered and the concentration level is not there right now.

Not sure what this all means except that I will try to be much more conscious of and sensitive to other people who are in a place of pain/recovery in the future. For now, I am grateful for good doctors, new procedures and pain meds!!

Fear

The question is: What is the biggest problem you face right now? What Goliath is staring you in the face, taunting you and defying God to rescue you? Today my Goliath is fear--fear of this aging process, fear of Monday's knee surgery and the pain to follow, fear of the consequences of bad choices made over my lifetime. So, for today I am claiming this verse in Iasaih 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Also, Psalm 91:1-2: "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

So, what am I afraid of? Physical pain, physical deterioration, loss of abilities? All of these are temporary anyway. The only sure and constant thing in this life and the life after this is God.

This morning a friend prayed for me over the phone. That is only the second time that has ever happened to me. So, do I really trust the God I pray to? I want to trust Him!

Oh, God, let your Spirit fill me with your peace

Thanksgiving

AAHH! Another great meal devoured in a fraction of the time it took to cook it! I didn't have to (or get to) cook this year as we were invited to our daughter's in-laws' home. It was a very good dinner and we enjoyed the company.

I am always a little ashamed of how much food we can pile onto one table for one meal when there are so many who have nothing, but I do not know exactly how to break the cycle without hurting feelings. I would really like to at least tone it down a little and spend more time and energy acknowledging our Provider and helping someone else. Oh, we do contribute to "causes" that help others, but that's the easy way out.

Now that I have said that I have to evaluate and determine just what changes I am willing to make.

Word Play

I've been thinking about a word that keeps popping up in everything I read or see lately. That word is "encourage". It doesn't take much for someone to encourage me--just a note or a word. How often do I act on my intentions to encourage someone else? I believe that thoughts about another person are urges from the Spirit to pay attention to that person either in prayer or in person and I should act on those little pushes.

The other word is "entourage". Notice the one letter difference? Each of us needs an entourage of encouragers to keep us going and we need to be a part of other's entourages (is that the proper pluralization?) to lift them up and give them hope. It doesn't take much--just a note or a word.

There are numerous scriptures instructing us to encourage one another, especially when things look dark as they do in our world today. I am going to try to do better at this. It takes so little effort and is such a blessing to others.

Home Again

Back home after a week of vacation at the Oregon Beaches with our family. We rent a big house so we can all stay together, sharing space and food--lots of good food! It was a good week with typical ocean beach weather--foggy, cool, sunny and sandy. The kites were fun and the kids had a great sand castle. Took lots of pictures.

One week vacations are not quite long enough. It takes 2-3 days to get into the rhythm of it, then it is almost time to pack up and get home again. A little more "middle time" would be nice. However, I am grateful for any and all special times with kids and grands.

Home is nice, too.

Old Knees

I had my annual physical yesterday and I seem (so far) to be doing well--except for my knees. I have arthritis which has gotten progressively worse over the past year and my doctor thinks I should consider knee replacement surgery soon while I am still healthy enough to tolerate it well. Easy for him to say! Does anyone ever see themselves in advance as needing this kind of thing? I am quite sure I am not old enough or crippled enough for joint replacement. Depending on the day, the pain is mostly quite tolerable. How do I know if and when I should do this? I think I will wait til the fall, then consult with an orthopedist before going ahead. Being incapacitated for 6 weeks doesn't sound like fun--I don't have time for that! In this day of modern medicine why can't they just inject some silicone or something and "re-pad" the joint.

If you can't tell, I am BUMMED OUT!!