Fear

The question is: What is the biggest problem you face right now? What Goliath is staring you in the face, taunting you and defying God to rescue you? Today my Goliath is fear--fear of this aging process, fear of Monday's knee surgery and the pain to follow, fear of the consequences of bad choices made over my lifetime. So, for today I am claiming this verse in Iasaih 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Also, Psalm 91:1-2: "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

So, what am I afraid of? Physical pain, physical deterioration, loss of abilities? All of these are temporary anyway. The only sure and constant thing in this life and the life after this is God.

This morning a friend prayed for me over the phone. That is only the second time that has ever happened to me. So, do I really trust the God I pray to? I want to trust Him!

Oh, God, let your Spirit fill me with your peace

Thanksgiving

AAHH! Another great meal devoured in a fraction of the time it took to cook it! I didn't have to (or get to) cook this year as we were invited to our daughter's in-laws' home. It was a very good dinner and we enjoyed the company.

I am always a little ashamed of how much food we can pile onto one table for one meal when there are so many who have nothing, but I do not know exactly how to break the cycle without hurting feelings. I would really like to at least tone it down a little and spend more time and energy acknowledging our Provider and helping someone else. Oh, we do contribute to "causes" that help others, but that's the easy way out.

Now that I have said that I have to evaluate and determine just what changes I am willing to make.

Word Play

I've been thinking about a word that keeps popping up in everything I read or see lately. That word is "encourage". It doesn't take much for someone to encourage me--just a note or a word. How often do I act on my intentions to encourage someone else? I believe that thoughts about another person are urges from the Spirit to pay attention to that person either in prayer or in person and I should act on those little pushes.

The other word is "entourage". Notice the one letter difference? Each of us needs an entourage of encouragers to keep us going and we need to be a part of other's entourages (is that the proper pluralization?) to lift them up and give them hope. It doesn't take much--just a note or a word.

There are numerous scriptures instructing us to encourage one another, especially when things look dark as they do in our world today. I am going to try to do better at this. It takes so little effort and is such a blessing to others.

Home Again

Back home after a week of vacation at the Oregon Beaches with our family. We rent a big house so we can all stay together, sharing space and food--lots of good food! It was a good week with typical ocean beach weather--foggy, cool, sunny and sandy. The kites were fun and the kids had a great sand castle. Took lots of pictures.

One week vacations are not quite long enough. It takes 2-3 days to get into the rhythm of it, then it is almost time to pack up and get home again. A little more "middle time" would be nice. However, I am grateful for any and all special times with kids and grands.

Home is nice, too.

Old Knees

I had my annual physical yesterday and I seem (so far) to be doing well--except for my knees. I have arthritis which has gotten progressively worse over the past year and my doctor thinks I should consider knee replacement surgery soon while I am still healthy enough to tolerate it well. Easy for him to say! Does anyone ever see themselves in advance as needing this kind of thing? I am quite sure I am not old enough or crippled enough for joint replacement. Depending on the day, the pain is mostly quite tolerable. How do I know if and when I should do this? I think I will wait til the fall, then consult with an orthopedist before going ahead. Being incapacitated for 6 weeks doesn't sound like fun--I don't have time for that! In this day of modern medicine why can't they just inject some silicone or something and "re-pad" the joint.

If you can't tell, I am BUMMED OUT!!

Emotions

The last four weeks have been such an emotional roller coaster for me. My friend's husband passed away from melanoma, his memorial service at his church and watching her being so strong yet so vulnerable. Then our Portland family came for a weekend and left their boys for a week and we had such a great time with them. Then there is the let-down when things get back to our dull normal routine except for the bright moments with our granddaughter. She is such a loving, trusting, sensitive child and wants to take care of everyone. She has a knack for sensing sadness and wants to comfort. Some sadnesses are just simply beyond her level of understanding, but she does want to help.

Next to God, my family is the dearest thing on earth to me and I can't bear it when things are uneasy between us. Sometimes I think I try too hard to keep everyone happy, but I love them so much. Even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. How silly is that?

Grandchildren

We have our two grandsons this week (6 1/2 and 4 1/2) and our granddaughter (11), since school is out. I think they are having a good time playing with Playmobile people, running in the sprinkler and just being together. I can't help but believe the 11 year old will soon be "too old" to engage in the kind of play they enjoy now and that will be sad. They have always had so much fun together. Maybe the dynamic will change but they will still want to be together.

I remember times with my cousins and the fun we had playing "cowboys and Indians" or staying out after dark for a game of hide-and-seek. It was such an innocent time and we were never afraid that one of us would be harmed. Now we just never let the children out of our sight for a moment and we live in a fairly secure place. Innocence lost.

I hope we are building good memories for our young ones that will carry them through times when things are looking grim or hopeless. I hope they look back at times with Nana and Papa and say with a smile, "Remember when...........".